Thursday, September 1, 2011

Hello Costco

Dear Costco:
I was just wondering why you charge me $45.00 to shop in your warehouse as opposed to showroom and are only open from 10:00 a.m  – 8:30 p.m. instead of 6:00 a.m. -12:00 a.m. like my grocery store and then drive that sweeper thing up and down every isle I’m shopping on and then get frustrated when I move to where the sweeper man points when he’s really pointing to where he’s going to go.  If I wanted an experience like this, I would cross the freeway at night wearing black and carrying a 40 pack of Capri Suns. 
Maybe you could sweep while the store is closed.  Just a thought.


Dear Me:
Why in the heck do you shop at Costco?  Those little samples are making you fat even if you are walking a mile to the store because there are no closer parking spots and pushing around that flatbed shopping cart with 220 lbs. of rock salt and 3 children on top.  Is gallon sized olive oil, Jack’s Special Salsa, uncooked flour tortillas, 5 lb. bags of broccoli that end up molding in your fridge really worth it?
And what about that lady that comes and scans your card each time you’re in line to make sure you’re on their ultimate, super-duper, uber, Costco mega-plan where you get cash back for paying $45.00 a year plus more $$ that you can’t remember the amount of because the kids were jumping off the rock salt and begging for pizza and churros (who are those people that always eat lunch at Costco anyway?) and the cashier was asking for your Costco card and if you want boxes----anyway, don’t you find her annoying?  I mean every single time.      
But then there was that couch you bought there and ended up hating that you took back a week later out of the box and they gave you a full refund, no questions asked. And then there are all those great deals at the photo center that you are always blowing your money on.   And then there was that time that your kids were hungry and you needed dinner and you went to Costco and ate all the samples and didn’t buy anything
So who am I to ask why you shop at Costco?  But next time you go will you pick me up a big bag of peanut MnMs?



  1. I love it... (your post that is, Costco not so much). I remember when we were first married and I had this idea that everyone who was someone that wanted to make a decent dinner had to shop at Costco. About $100 later it seemed all I had was a massive jug of laundry detergent that took up half the space of our student housing bathroom and a whole lot of arugula. Took me several years and several kids to start appreciating it again. :)

  2. A smart and humorous post. Love it. I could write myself a bunch of those letters. And they keep checking your card? Gee whiz!

    I'm a fellow campaigner on the Writing Platform trail, by the way. Love your blog and I'm glad I joined.

  3. I am one of those people who eats lunch at Costco with my kids. I need the Diet Coke for fortitude. Could you please send this letter to me too? I have asked myself the same questions every time I go. I finally gave up on the 5 lb. bag of carrots that go moldy in a day. But I have moved on to the broccoli.

  4. Ha ha ha. Totally been there before. I know exactly what you're talking about!

  5. Hi Jill, stopping by from the campaign to say hello and become a follower. Looking forward to seeing you around the campaign.

  6. Hey Jill, I'm in your YA campaign group. Got a good laugh from this post. I think everyone has a love-hate relationship with Costco. And the samples are just soooo yummy.

  7. I love this post! Its so true! I just love your work you are so talented! Take me to Costco with you next time. I LOVE COSTCO <3