I like this job. It makes me happy. It makes me think about love and new beginnings and the scary wedding dress I wore. It makes me think about toasters and honeymoons and studio apartments and occasionally gives me butterflies.
For some reason, I was worried I would forget to go to it and how bad would that be? So, I set an alarm on my phone everyday the week prior to the wedding, then 3 hours before, then an hour before, then 20 minutes before. #part-timers #oldage #brainrot.
The night before the wedding I dreamed that it was the next day and my husband and I were hanging around the house, when I looked at the clock and realized that it was noon and I was supposed to be in Ogden at 11:00. Then I dreamed that it was time to go and I found my camera on the front porch, which was really now the back porch (because that's how dreams are) where it had been all night with the sprinkler hitting it. Then I dreamed that I was lining my dead mother up with my high school vice principal whom I have never talked to or thought about and whose name I'm surprised I remember. Analyze that. . . It was a rough night. I think this all means that I need some kind of therapy.
These are the kinds of dreams that give you heart attacks or make you think about changing your name and moving to another country because there are no do-overs for a wedding videographer. Thinking about it now turns those "wedding butterflies" in my stomach to bats and spiders.
I thought about my daughters wedding almost 2 1/2 years ago. We were going to have an ice cream sundae bar and rented a soft-serve ice cream machine, only, the reception started and the machine wasn't there. We kept calling the ice cream man who said he was going to be there any minute. Only he wasn't. He just kept saying he was coming which doesn't actually put ice cream in people's bellies.
As the reception ended, the ice cream man came with his tail between his legs and no ice cream. Apologizing profusely, he tried to hand me a wad of cash. I was annoyed. Why didn't he get the ingredients the night before, or plan more time into his schedule, or have a back-up contingency plan for emergencies because after all, there are no do-overs for a wedding.
I opened my mouth to tell him how he'd ruined our once-in-a-life-time and instead heard myself saying, "Don't worry about it. It was an awesome day. We've got a happy bride and groom. We're not going to let ice cream ruin it." I pushed the cash away. Teary eyed, he left. Unfortunately, those are not the words I had wanted to say. Fortunately, God takes over when I let Him and helps me say better words than my own.
After a night of dreaming up lame excuses of why I missed a once in a life-time event, I felt like pond scum. What if I'd actually had to give any of those excuses to the wedding party, especially if they had responded with any of the things that I had wanted to say to the ice cream man? What if I had said those mean, hurtful things I wanted to say to the ice cream man? After all, there are no do-overs for weddings. What if I had made it all about the ice cream instead of the bride and the groom and love and eternity and happily ever after?
God is good. I am good when I let Him in my life. He helps me see what's important. He helps me say what's important. This Thanksgiving I am grateful for God who helps me be better and focus on the important things so that I don't have to eat humble pie but can eat lots of real pie. And who doesn't like pie?