As First Lady I Solemnly Swear. . .

Apparently Michelle Obama dresses quite nicely. I haven’t noticed this. I’m sure she probably does. I don’t tend to notice what people are wearing, I do notice however if they are wearing something as opposed to not wearing something. So while not a great advocate of fashion, I am a great advocate of clothes. Everybody should wear them.

I read about First Lady Obama’s great fashion look in USA Today. I don’t usually read USA Today, but I was staying at the “Del.” That’s what everyone called it, which I find funny because isn’t “del” a preposition? So are they really saying, “Welcome to the Of The?” Wouldn’t you say, welcome to the Hotel Del Coronado or maybe the Coronado, but the Del?

Back to USA Today. Evidently Michelle (can I call the first lady that?) has this oh so nice white blouse (which reportedly she’s worn more than once—SHOCKING), and some green pumps, (green is my favorite color) and a smashing belt. And here’s the good news. I can get knock-offs of all these things for a couple hundred dollars, each!

Hello people. Hello first lady. Did you know that we are in a recession? That is more than my clothing budget for an entire year. If I bought that, I’d have to wear it every day. I wonder how it looks inside out? (Remember the 80’s when you wore your sweat shirt inside out for a different look. . . or was that just me?) Also slacks or a skirt were not mentioned. This creates a small problem.

My dream—a first lady that shops at Target. Say it like “Tar-jay,” you’ll feel better. And while the green pumps were very appealing, if I was going to do as much walking as the first lady, I would opt for green sneakers. And would it kill the first lady to wear sweats once in a while? It would do a heap of good for my morale.

So here is my first campaign promise if I am ever elected first lady. I solemnly swear (with my hand on a bag of chocolate chips) that I will not wear designer clothes. Not even knock-offs. I will make women everywhere feel better by wearing sweats, jeans, t-shirts, hoodies, sneakers and flip flops with maybe an occasional pajama bottom. If I have to wear a dress, I will be on my way to church and my feet will be happy feet in my sensible but colorful flats. You should be able to duplicate my wardrobe by shopping the clearance rack at any Tar-jay, Ross Dress for Less, or Deseret Industries.