Hormones. . .

Getting older isn't too bad when you compare it with the alternative. Death. But what's up with this "hang-over?" I'm talking about the thing hanging over my belt; the 15lbs. that has magically appeared and is not budging as if to say, "Howdy, I"m here for the long haul." And do I really have to have zits again? And what's up with standing up? Everything rises except my hip which remains anchored to the chair by my butt. Everything is falling, sagging or puddling like wax dripping from a birthday candle. My husband is faring a bit better. The hair he's losing on his head is being replaced by new growth in his nose and ears.

When my daughter and I sat through the fifth grade maturation program and got the 411 on pu-ber-ty, wide-eyed she turned to me and said, "Now I know why they call them HORRORMOMES."

I know what she's talkin about.